1. Picking on one another is an extreme sport. Alliances have been made, alliances have been broken.


2. Food is life. This means:

  • There is a stampede when lunch arrives.
  •  If someone brings in food, announcements are made and dancing occurs.
  • On Monday's, we spend at least 15 minutes telling each other where we ate at over the weekend, and exactly what we ordered. There are usually pictures.
  • We prepare menus weeks before our Holidays together, and we show up to impress... 2020 menu ideas are already flowing in.
  • We commonly come up with recipe ideas, all of which end with "wrapped in bacon".
  • When Mr. Mike visits, he calls us fat.


3. If you pay us a visit, or call our office, the loud, obnoxious singing is coming from the shipping department. We assume it's a product of too many idiots in one room, but we are open to other theories.


4. We are serious about the music we work to, selected based on our daily mood. We will 100% roast you if your playlist is trash.


5. Collectively, we are the funniest people in the world. Prove us wrong.


6. During the month of December, you "will be fired" for playing anything other than Christmas music. (Probably rehired immediately after, but no one's been brave enough to test it.) Let "Hard Candy Christmas" by Dolly come on, and witness 5-10 grown men and women singing into their fake microphones. #bigfeels


7. If you haven't come in the door and threw a trick shot at "the tiny basket" with a ball of paper, do you even work here?


8. You can watch Hogg's head blow off if you simply use the customer bathroom, or touch his D Batteries. Easy Peasy.


9. In case disaster strikes during work hours, we have all selected our Zombie Apocalypse teams... Side note: We have also picked our apocalypse weapons from our inventory. I can't make this stuff up. Purchase yours today.


10. We once blindfolded Eddie and Randy to see who knew our part locations better. The test was inconclusive, because Randy hid the parts Eddie was suppose to find... He just wandered around like an idiot for 10 minutes.


11. Lilith holds the record for literally zero customers pronoucing her name right. "Milly", "Willis", the list goes on and they get better everyday. She's in therapy now, it's fine.


13. We communicate via memes and gif's... And yes, we argue over how to correctly pronounce "gif". (It's jif)


14. While normal people are excited for Friday to get here, we are (not so patiently) waiting for Thursday. This is the day we order Jersey Mike's... And in case you don't know how we feel about food, refer back to #2. Even the low carb dieter's throw rules to the wind on this day.


15. Michael is always right, even when he's clearly wrong... Denial is a real disease, guys. #prayers